I first tried alcohol when I was fifteen with friends. Everyone else was doing it and so I joined in. It looked fun. We would save whatever money we could during the week to buy cheap cider and wine at the weekend. It was always fun and enjoyable, and we looked forward to getting drunk in the local park.
I continued drinking alcohol socially for many years before it became a problem. I got on with my life; left school, started employment and set up home with my partner and then eventually had children. The normal ‘2.4 kids existence.'
It wasn’t until I was about 50 that I recognised I had a problem. For no reason, I was drinking ridiculous amounts daily and was unable to stop. For a while my drinking had been impacting my life, creating problems at work and home, and so I decided to stop. It was then I realised that I clearly had a problem.
As a result of my drinking, I have experienced many problems. I withdrew from society, choosing to sit at home drinking with the curtains closed. I fell out with close family and friends by choosing alcohol over them, and had to take time off work due to being unable to function properly without alcohol. My confidence, self-respect and zest for life had disappeared and I couldn’t see any point in carrying on. My once perfect life had vanished as I simply existed day to day, drinking the hours away and feeling sorry for myself.
I tried to reduce my alcohol intake, attended AA meetings and other mutual aid support groups, but still continued drinking believing I would never be able to stop. After attending my doctors, yet again, they referred me to Cirtek House. Initially I didn’t want to go into treatment, thinking it would be full of drunks and drug users; then it finally dawned on me that I was one of those ‘drunks’ and that I had nothing to lose by attending.
My key worker was friendly and approachable, putting my mind at rest straight away. I was referred for an alcohol detox, which I completed but was still struggling with thoughts of drinking every day – I feared it was only a matter of time before I caved in and drank. It felt like a constant battle which was tiring me out every second of the day. When I mentioned this to my key worker, she recommended the Intuitive Recovery course.
I found the course fantastic. It was the most useful thing I have ever attended. It was simple, practical and very useful. Every day I went home with new things I had learnt and skills I could actually use to silence ‘IT’. Learning about I and IT was a breakthrough. I knew what the problem was and could finally see a way out. Having a coursebook to take home has been invaluable to revisit and practice the skills.
I have used the skills in my day to day life to silence IT. The main skills I have used were the transposing and final contract. To actually be able to say I will never use again was empowering and liberating. I’m in control, not IT.
Since completing the course I have remained sober and finally put it to bed. I am back working and have now been discharged alcohol free from Cirtek House. My life is improving daily and I finally recognise the old me. My confidence and self-respect have returned, and I’m up early each day looking forward to life. I’m enjoying being back at work and an active member of society. My relationships are improving, and for the first time in ages, I can see a positive future ahead.